Dear Guide:
This is the story I heard. Is it real or urban?
This friend was stuck at home with a non-functioning car. He was really hungry, so he ordered Pizza Hut pizza. He told them he'd be working in the office at the apartment complex where he also lived.
Anyway, 1 1/2 hours later, when he called the Pizza Hut they were really irate because they had gone to his (empty, of course) apartment instead of the office. My friend tried to explain and get them to send a new pizza right away, but the manager on duty was really rude and insulting. After chewing out the manager, he demanded his original order for free. All of a sudden, the manager said "Okay, in 1 1/2 hours more!" This was not okay, but this friend agreed, as he was stuck at home and starving.
Exactly 1 1/2 hours later, the order arrived, and this friend noticed the box felt damp all over. He went ahead and ate the pizza, even though it tasted "funny."
Well, the next morning, he felt sick and went to his car to go to the doctor. On his way, he saw a polaroid stuck in the office door. He couldn't believe what it showed: two or three employees in Pizza Hut uniforms urinating on a pizza he assumed was his!
Needless to say, I'm swearing off Pizza Hut. I like my pizza without the P!
Dear Reader:
I'll go out on a limb and venture to say we all prefer our pizza without the "P." It's just one of those constants of human nature.
This story has "urban legend" written all over it.
- Suspicious detail #1: customer actually waits three hours for pizza.
- Suspicious detail #2: pizza tastes "funny" but customer eats it anyway.
- Suspicious detail #3: culprits conveniently provide evidence in the form of a self-taken photo (see "A Tail of Two Toothbrushes" for a comparably disgusting photo-finish legend).
Stories of deliberate food contamination by service workers are common currency everywhere. Tales of cooks/waiters/busboys spitting (or worse) in the food or beverages of obnoxious customers are ancient; which is not to say they're always untrue. Though documented cases are rare, there's just enough evidence to suggest this really does happen on occasion.
Most revolting of all are accounts of employees ejaculating on or into somebody's meal. Most people have heard one version or another of these so-called "Secret Sauce" legends. And while I'm confident that such stories are far more often false than true, every now and again an unsettling news account will pop up.
For example, in alt.folklore.urban we find a report of an allegedly true story wherein a customer takes delivery of a pizza spiked with semen — although in this particular case it turned out that the extra ingredient had been added by "friends" of the victim, not the pizza makers.
AFU also reports an instance of urine-laced hummus, though we have no direct confirmation that it's true.
Finally, there was a real-life incident involving a restaurant worker blowing his nose on a customer's food. Unfortunately for the employee, his customer was a cop. According to news reports of this Arizona case, the nose blower was prosecuted for adding unrequested mucus to the police officer's sandwich. He was arrested on the spot after the officer took a few bites of his sandwich and noticed a "sticky substance" on his hands and face.
The worker was convicted of aggravated assault.
